Post 0055

WRITE EVERY DAY.

Yes, but about what exactly? Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter too much about that. I just need to spew it out. Venting my spleen on my blog is a cathartic process. It helps me to make sense of the world I’m living in. Writing down the stuff that’s in my head, helps to centre me, to create balance and order in my mind. I guess I’m making more room for even more stuff. That annoying little voice in my head, my inner voice, is a noisy little bastard, and sometimes I hate the stuff he dangles out there for me to worry about.

So, writing is a form of mindfulness. It helps me to see things clearly. Combined with my meditation practice, it has helped my sanity. It helps me to keep depression at bay, keeps me calm, and at times can be my most deadly weapon. The pen, they say, is mightier than the sword! I wield my pen and keyboard with ruthless dexterity, sometimes writing my fiercest criticisms of the people, things and situations that wind me up the most. I would say that 90% of what I write down, remains hidden from public view. To publish it would offend and upset a huge amount of people, among them friends.

Anyhoo. I digress.

Looking for a full-time job, that meets my needs, is a laborious process. I hate it. I hate the amount of energy that I need to expel, just to have a faceless minion in an office, miles away from my life, tell me that I’m too old, or overqualified, etc. So I’m flipping back to the working from home, for myself. I require that flexibility. I just need to make it pay!

Lately, I’ve been thinking about my mortality. I suppose I’m still having, a sort of mid-life crisis. I need focus. That focus is coming to me now. For far too long now I’ve been waiting for life to give me a leg-up, some esoteric help if you will. The universe isn’t going to help me unless I help myself.  So instead of waiting for the promises of people that will “give me some work”, I’m going to make sure I only take on jobs that are guaranteed to come to fruition.

I’m fed up with being told a project is coming my way, only to be told they went elsewhere at the last minute. I know what my value is, and I know that I will work hard to give my clients value for the money that they are paying me. 100% dedication, to the project at hand. This is partly my fault, especially when it comes to qualifying my customers at the enquiry stage. I need to work on refining my process a little more.

For many years now I’ve been focussing on using WordPress as the foundation for the websites that I have been building. I’ve decided that I will continue to do this, but from now on, I will also be working with Adobe Dreamweaver and Muse to create sites, this will enable me to create truly bespoke designs for my clientele. I am happy to provide photographic services, copywriting, graphic design, digital marketing and web design, to clients that appreciate my work. Not to people, who think they are “doing me a favour”. I don’t need favours; I need to get paid for the work that I do. I also need a degree of artistic licence. If you are employing someone, because of their vision and their creativity, then please, don’t go and fuck it up by having an alternative view, after the fact. Use a vendor on Fiverr, that lives in the Indian sub-continent. They will do that for you for a few quid.

I continue to write every day; I don’t post all of that here for you to read, but rest assured, I have a lot more to say that I think you might want to hear. Some of it good and some of it bad, but all of it relevant to me, myself and I.

Until next time, adieu.

Z

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