the rhythm of now

The Power of Now: Navigating Bullies and Toxicity in the Workplace

Picture this: You’re seated at your desk, attempting to focus on the mind-numbing pile of emails that seemingly breeds overnight like some digital fungus. The click-clack of keyboards forms a background symphony, and you start to slip into a meditative state. And then it happens—the office bully saunters over, armed with a scowl and ready to unleash some passive-aggressive nonsense. Maybe it’s a snide comment about your work, or perhaps they’re skilled at the classic “backhanded compliment” that leaves you wondering if you just got insulted or praised. Either way, your zen state evaporates faster than your morning coffee.

Welcome to the modern workplace, a land where navigating the treacherous waters of human interaction can often feel like a full-time job in itself. But here’s the twist—what if I told you that your power lies in the present moment? That’s right. The now is where your true strength resides, and when you combine it with the wisdom of thinkers like Alan Watts, you’ve got a potent cocktail for handling workplace toxicity.

The Power of Now: A Gateway to Freedom

First, let’s break down this elusive concept of “the now.” Popularised by spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle in his book The Power of Now, the idea is deceptively simple yet profoundly transformative: The only moment that truly exists is the present one. Past grievances and future anxieties? They’re mental constructs that have no bearing on your reality unless you allow them to take root in your mind. When you focus on the now, you find liberation from the emotional baggage that often weighs us down.

In the context of workplace bullying, the power of now becomes your secret weapon. Bullies thrive on creating reactions—whether through fear, anger, or insecurity, they feed off your emotional response like vampires feasting on human blood. When you’re fully present in the now, you’re no longer as easy to rattle. Their barbs lose their sting because you’re not projecting past experiences onto the current moment, nor are you anxiously anticipating the next jab. You’re simply… here.

So, how does one achieve this almost Zen-like state of presence in a world full of noisy coworkers, endless deadlines, and one too many awkward Zoom calls? It’s not about becoming numb or indifferent—it’s about awareness. Take a moment to notice your surroundings, your breath, the way your body feels in the chair. These small acts of mindfulness pull you back into the present and give you a foundation of calm, even when chaos swirls around you.

Alan Watts: Embracing the Dance of Life

Enter Alan Watts, a philosopher with a talent for making Eastern philosophies palatable to the Western mind. Watts was all about embracing the flow of life, encouraging people to stop resisting the natural ebb and flow of existence. According to Watts, life is like a dance; the key is to stop trying to control every step. Instead, it would help if you surrendered to the rhythm.

Watts’ philosophy is a game-changer when dealing with toxic people. Instead of meeting fire with fire—reacting with anger, frustration, or even internalising the negative energy—Watts would suggest a different approach. Recognise that the bully is just playing their part in this dance, like everyone else. They’re stuck in their own suffering, and their behaviour reflects their inner turmoil, not a judgment on your worth.

By seeing the bully as part of the cosmic dance, you start to detach emotionally. It’s not that you’re excusing their behaviour—far from it—but you’re choosing not to take their actions personally. Watts often talked about the idea of wu wei, or “effortless action,” which means aligning yourself with the flow of life rather than fighting against it. When you stop resisting, you stop giving power to the toxicity around you.

Think of it this way: The bully is like a storm. You can stand in the storm, raging against the wind and rain, or simply acknowledge that the storm exists, take cover, and wait for it to pass. The storm doesn’t last forever, and neither will the bully’s antics. Watts would likely remind us that all things, including toxic people, are impermanent.

Practical Steps to Deal with Workplace Bullies

Now, I know what you’re thinking—That’s all well and good, but what am I supposed to actually do when confronted by a workplace bully? Fair point. It’s one thing to wax philosophical and quite another to handle a real-world situation where someone’s undermining you in a meeting or throwing you under the proverbial bus in front of your boss. So, let’s break it down into practical steps that integrate both the power of now and Watts’ wisdom.

1. Stay Present: When the bully strikes, resist the urge to mentally flee into the past or future. Instead, focus on the present moment. Ground yourself by noticing something in your immediate environment—a pen on your desk, the feeling of your feet on the floor, or the sound of your breath. This practice pulls you out of the emotional spiral and helps you respond (not react) from a place of calm.
2. Detach from Their Drama: Remember, the bully’s behaviour is more about them than you. Alan Watts would suggest that their toxicity reflects their inner world. Don’t let their storm become your storm. Imagine a protective bubble around you, deflecting their negative energy. You can acknowledge their behaviour without absorbing it.
3. Respond with Compassion (But Set Boundaries): This might sound counterintuitive, but responding with compassion can be a powerful way to disarm a bully. Compassion doesn’t mean being a pushover—it means recognising that they are operating from a place of pain or insecurity. However, compassion must be paired with boundaries. Calmly and assertively state what behaviour is unacceptable and what you expect moving forward. For example, “I understand you may be frustrated, but I won’t tolerate being spoken to in that way.”
4. Document Everything: While Watts and Tolle might have us floating above the fray in a state of Zen, let’s get real—this is still the workplace, and you’re still dealing with real consequences. Document every instance of bullying. Keep emails, write down conversations, and gather evidence. This isn’t about paranoia—this is about protecting yourself in case things escalate, and you must involve HR.
5. Choose Your Battles: Not every slight requires a response. Watts would argue that life is too short to get caught up in every little conflict. Sometimes, the most powerful response is no response at all. Choose your battles wisely, and don’t waste energy on pettiness.
6. Seek Allies and Support: Just because you’re focusing on the power of now doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. Connect with colleagues who can provide support, whether through venting over lunch or strategising on handling difficult people. Strength in numbers can be a powerful deterrent to bullies who thrive on isolating their targets.
7. Know When to Escalate: If the bullying persists and starts to affect your mental health or work performance, it’s time to escalate the situation. This could mean involving HR, seeking legal advice, or even considering a change of environment if the workplace culture is toxic from the top down. Watts would remind us that sometimes the dance involves knowing when to exit the floor gracefully.

Beyond Survival: Thriving in the Workplace

The power of now and the wisdom of Alan Watts aren’t just about surviving the workplace—they’re about thriving. When you anchor yourself in the present and refuse to let the toxicity around you dictate your inner peace, you start to shift the energy in your workplace. You become a beacon of calm in a sea of chaos, and that kind of presence has a ripple effect.

Imagine how different your work environment could be if everyone practised a little more mindfulness, a little more presence, and a little more compassion. Sure, there will always be bullies and toxic people, but their power diminishes in the face of collective awareness and presence. By embodying these principles, you protect yourself and inspire others to do the same.

In the end, the workplace is just another stage for the dance of life. There will be moments of harmony and moments of dissonance, but the key is to stay grounded in the now, dance with grace, and never let someone else’s darkness dim your light.

JP