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pondering

I’m trying to decide if I should remove the work-related section of this site and open a separate page? It could make things a little easier. I’ll think and come up with a plan.

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person holding brown wooden love letter
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

2020 SUCKED – BUT HAD A FEW GOOD TIMES!

Thank fuck for that! I managed to get through 2020 reasonably unscathed (well, I didn’t get the Covids – as far as I know?).

My son completed his first year of home schooling, I think he’s where he needs to be, and is progressing nicely. We got the first year in our new home under our belts, village living will always be my preferred choice from now on.

My father died back in the summer. I am still working out how I feel about that, especially as I have not seen the man since the early 90s. He was, and remains aloof. The subsequent contact with ‘his side of the family’, people that I haven’t seen or heard from for a similar amount of time, was interesting. I don’t think that we will have any kind of relationship going forward?

This blog has become my main outlet as I move away from mainstream social media channels once and for all. Seth Godin sums up the best blog in this post. I will continue to write here, and I will continue to post links to articles and pretty much anything else that comes to mind. This is my shiny thing, I take care of it, I own it, and I can say anything I like without fear of censorship. If you don’t like what I have to say, then go and find something else to read. There is, of course, my newsletter. I will make an effort to write it at least once-a-week during 2021, but this will only be when I have the time to write something decent.

I found some time to reconnect with friends that I should never have lost touch with. They are among the most important people that I know of, and having them in my life is fulfilling. Next year I will do more to nurture those friendships (pandemic permitting).

I am still working out if I will continue with a couple of projects that are a huge time suck, time spent that is of little benefit to me and my family and that could be used in ways that will improve my life – I’ve kind of answered my own question, I think?).

So there it is, a quick round-up of 2020. I’m happy to see the back of it, and I am optimistic about 2021, the forthcoming Covid-19 vaccines, and several adventures on the horizon.

Until next year, adieu!

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Thoughts on a troubled world.

I am a firm believer in free speech. People should be able to have a voice, good or bad. Some of those voices are louder than others, and they are often the ones that don’t sit well with us.

Should governments and organisations step in to censor some of what is said? Maybe. We should monitor hate speech that might cause people to react in violent ways, radical views that can lead our youth down a path to violence, and dangerous misinformation that lead to poor health choices.

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The Luddism Corollary

Privacy concerns and the right to a private life have long steered me towards a technology purge. I will start that purge in 2020.

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84: Hackett Five-O

With less than a week to go before my 50th birthday, I have been thinking about what I should try to do with the rest of my life.

There are a bunch of things that I need/want to do, but in the short term, I need to create a daily schedule, while I think of the bigger picture.

So, here are my plans.

  • Meditate daily
  • Fast daily
  • Read a book per week
  • Write every day
  • Walk for an hour per day
  • Support Karta with his school work
  • Revamp our finances

There will probably be more, but for now, these are some simple things that will be put in place to help keep me fit and sane.

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80: Promises and the Black Dog

For the first time in a while, I stood in front of my bathroom mirror today and had a conversation with myself. I looked myself in the eye and made a heartfelt promise to myself and my family.

Does that make me weird, talking to myself like that?

I am trying to live an honest life; but, discretion is the better part of valour, they say. 

I need to stop lying to myself and change my destiny. I need to find the genuine version of me, not some amalgam of who everyone thinks that I should be.

The real me feels buried beneath 40-years’ of pretence. My life has been bent and twisted out of shape so many times that I have forgotten who I am. I have been many things to many people, but the real version on me lies trapped.

It is time to peel back the layers of accumulated bullshit and come back into the light. The black dog will never be able to hurt me again.

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77: Losing It

I am feeling a profound sense of loss this morning.

There are many factors at play here, the loss of loved ones, the loss of friendships, loss of income, loss of dignity, lack of opportunity, I could go on.

2018 has had its ups and downs, and through it all, I have tried my best to show a degree of stoicism.

I am not out of the woods yet; I have challenges ahead that will push me to the limit of what I can take.

I will not allow myself to lose it. I need to write an essay about how turning 50 is going to affect me. I will publish that over at CoZ.

That is all.

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74: Shorter & Shorter

I must make more of an effort to use this blog as I had always intended; short posts with fewer than 300 words on this site, and longer posts over at Cult of Zoid.