Hello friends. “you have a large bone spur that has developed at the joint margin of your hip.” The clinician at the Community Orthopaedic Team consultation took just three minutes to explain that my severe arthritis diagnosis now has an additional twist.
“So, what does that mean for me going forward?” I said. He then took some time to explain what was happening to these old bones of mine. Panic began to creep in when I understood the gravity of the situation.
We discussed what I should do, especially given that my condition is not going to improve unless I have surgery to correct the problem. So, I now find my mind going to terrifying places. My wife thinks that I am a big girly wuss. If surgery is imminent, I want the best outcome for a man of my age and weight. At the same time, I prefer to be put to sleep, waking up pain-free after a successful surgery. I’m unsure if that will be an option, seeing how they like to do these things with the patient conscious these days. The best way to process this is to keep educating myself, understand the options, and go from there. Either way, I am scared. I am afraid of being in pain, terrified of being aware of what is happening to me, scared of recovery, scared of my work prospects, scared of it all. I will write about the experience here. As always, I don’t know if anyone will read my words, so it will become a diary and a way to process thoughts. By all accounts, I will have plenty of time to think about things.