A while ago, I mentioned that there was trouble on the horizon. Well, the horizon is coming up fast, and I need to do something to get my family and me out of the shit storm that we are about to find ourselves in.
Category: status
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on Substack
I will be spending some time developing my Substack page/newsletter over the next few days. I need to get back to putting the best of my writing out into the world with my newsletter. I’m unsure about how to split what I produce between this blog and the Substack platform, which in some ways, is also a blog.
Do you ever feel like the days are slipping away so fast that life seems to be accelerating? I’ve been feeling that way lately. I need to come up with a strategy to help me get more out of my day. Exercise and doing something meaningful every day has to be a priority. I’m also starting to think that I should be waking up a lot earlier than I do right now.
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creeping doubt
I like to think that I have been keeping depression at bay, but lately, I’m not sure. I continue to flit between grand ideas and being unable to focus on one thing. As I have mentioned in my last post, there is potential trouble ahead, and I struggle to keep that potential future from affecting me in the here and now. I am distracted.
Being an eternal optimist is difficult sometimes. When the ‘black dog’ is circling the boundaries of my happiness, I find it hard to remain happy. I fucking hate uncertainty. I can live with it most of the time, but when things that affect my family are out of my control, I become overwhelmed with fight or flight feelings. A small lottery win would help.
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trouble on the horizon
A neighbour told me something yesterday that could disrupt my life. I had hoped that we, as a family, had put some distance between us and upheaval. But, unfortunately, it would seem that the universe might have different plans. So, I said a little prayer to the big U, help us out, will ya?
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a session at the skatepark
I took Karta to meet up with his mates at the CycloPark Skatepark today. The boys had a whale of a time. The weather was awesome, I got my first sunburn of 2021!
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a new monitor, a job and the bureaucrat
What a day! I have a new 27 inch widescreen monitor coming today. My 22 incher is a bit too small for the work that I am doing, so a new LG is enroute.
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my raison d’être
This is the 700th post on my tiny, insignificant blog! Over the last few days, I have found myself pondering life and my place in the world. I have read books and articles, watched YouTube videos and meditated. Finally, I have concluded that I need to very firmly put the past behind me and move forward through the rest of my time here, one day at a time.
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transporter in the rearview
My wife and I took some time to crunch the numbers regarding my work as a driver. When taking everything into consideration – fuel, wear and tear, time etc – my hourly rate was coming in at under £5.00! You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to work out what happened next.
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the shearing part two
I kind of liked having longer hair. Needs must, I suppose? That’s it though, I’m not going to have another haircut in 2021!
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the shearing
Due to upcoming work specs, I will have a haircut and a beard trim in Canterbury this afternoon. I’ll post a before and after shot upon my return from the barbershop.
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the transporter
Just call me Frank Martin! I will hopefully be starting a new gig this week, being a freelance delivery driver! Although the eponymous Mr Martin delivered, “no questions asked”, I will be making deliveries within my postcode area, so maybe a few hours a day, job and finish.
Now, I’m not new to this line of work. I recently worked part-time as a freelance motorcycle delivery driver, dropping premium motorcycles across the UK. For reasons that are still not clear to me, that work ended abruptly. Still, I like regular income, so pulling in money from several different gigs each month suits me and gives me the flexibility I need to pursue my passions – writing and photography.
It should be easy, I just have to remember to “not look in the bag”!
I’m having a bit of an off day today, time to meditate for an hour, methinks!
I might start to use this little fella as part of my branding? Based on the Schwa book from the early 90s.
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what to do about the yeti
I have been wracking my brain to figure out the best way forward with the MotoYeti project. I created MotoYeti, intending to develop a motorcycle blog, specifically a blog about motorcycle racing.
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off down to Lydd
So, Karta and I will drive down to Lydd to meet up with Andy Ibbott this afternoon. Andy has kindly agreed to let me have a copy of his new MotoGP Riding Techniques book for me to read and review. I will post that review at a later date as MotoYeti. I have an idea for a business brewing in my mind, which could benefit several people and maybe even some investment.
Today, though, will be a chance to get back to a race track and watch motorcycles ridden at speed, which is always a joy to behold.
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leaning in
The time has come for me to make a stand. From Monday (12th April), I will get back to doing some freelance work in PR and web development, along with bringing one or two of my blogs back to life. Rhona is throwing everything she has at Pumpkin Cakes, so I will be helping to market that business for her.
I am deep into developing a new website for the rebranded football club; I am the secretary. That is going to need at least another three weeks of work to finish. The most important item on my agenda, though, is taking care of my son. He and I need to get out and do more in the way of exercise. It will be good for both of us. That is all.
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a return to Instagram
I have decided to start using it again. I’m not proud of it, but I need to tap into every resource at my disposal in my search for creative work. Along with the other social media channels, Instagram will be a way for me to funnel traffic to my website. If you can’t beat ’em – join ’em! Who knows, I might even become an influencer?
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let the great job hunt begin
I need a day job. I’ve been looking into various roles. The top of my list is the relatively chilled out fruit picking job. I will make enquiries with the 350-hectare berry farm (that’s in the next village) on Tuesday.
Karta in his favourite place. He is the best thing that I have done so far in my life, I love you son.
got a beard?: Beard Oil: What is It and How Do I Use It?
Karta and I took a ride to the skatepark in Aylesham. It was the first time he had ridden his scooter on a ramp since December 2020. Roll on spring and warmer, drier days.
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being apart
I didn’t realise just how much I would miss my wife. She is away on an orientation course as part of her new job in the telecoms sector. She only went away yesterday, but already that feels odd to me. If I go away, the daft thing is that I don’t feel the separation anxiety as much.
So, it’s just Karta and me for the week. This is the last week of term for mainstream schools, and so Karta will be finishing up his latest round of homeschooling on Thursday. I hope to make plans to meet up with friends and get out into the woods for some needed exercise and fresh air.
As for me, well, I have plenty of chores to keep me busy, plus I am going to make time to sit at my desk and write posts for this blog every day. Today is, after all, the day when lockdown restrictions are eased a bit more. We are now allowed to meet outdoors in groups of up to six people from two different households. Outdoor sports venues are reopening, which includes the football club that I am involved with.
That’s all I have to say for now, stay tuned for a lot more going forward.
JP
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my new normal
For the first time in many months, I find myself alone at home; this is rare.
So, what did I do with this slice of freedom? I cleaned the house, listened to some music and watched a few YouTube videos. Is that constructive? I don’t know, but anyway, it has all lead me to sit down and spew forth some words of encouragement and reflection.
I’m trying to decide if I should remove the work-related section of this site and open a separate page? It could make things a little easier. I’ll think and come up with a plan.
I’m having another crisis as a wave of doubt about approaching my future endeavours consumes me. I need to continue to narrow my focus when it come to thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my life.
Here’s the rub. I have doubts about my ability to do certain things, specifically writing about certain subjects and topics. I have dipped my toe into several different subjects, and for a while, I became quite good at some of it. Writing about motor racing is a prime example. I became good at it, mostly because I allowed myself to become completely immersed in it. But I always felt like an imposter, an interloper who didn’t have a right to b there among some of the best journalists and writers in the world. That held me back and caused me to make mistakes.
Recently I’ve been coming up with all kinds of ideas for blogs and websites. I’ve even gone as far as creating newsletters and social media accounts for them. What the fuck am I doing, and what is the point? I’ve spent some time pondering these questions and have concluded that I have to look at those things in life that bring me the greatest joy. So I did that. It’s quite a shortlist; here it is.
- I ENJOY BEING WITH FRIENDS & FAMILY
- I LIKE TO TRAVEL
- I ENJOY BEING OUT IN NATURE
- I LIKE TO WRITE
- I LIKE TO READ
- I ENJOY PHOTOGRAPHY
Over the next few days and weeks, I will decide how to move forward using this list as a guide. The first thing will be ‘trimming the fat’ by closing down the things that are a huge time suck. By paring down and pulling my fingers out of the pies of distraction, I will gradually start to get back to the things that really matter to me.