80: Promises and the Black Dog

For the first time in a while, I stood in front of my bathroom mirror today and had a conversation with myself. I looked myself in the eye and made a heartfelt promise to myself and my family.

Does that make me weird, talking to myself like that?

I am trying to live an honest life; but, discretion is the better part of valour, they say. 

I need to stop lying to myself and change my destiny. I need to find the genuine version of me, not some amalgam of who everyone thinks that I should be.

The real me feels buried beneath 40-years’ of pretence. My life has been bent and twisted out of shape so many times that I have forgotten who I am. I have been many things to many people, but the real version on me lies trapped.

It is time to peel back the layers of accumulated bullshit and come back into the light. The black dog will never be able to hurt me again.